A Case of the Runs

I have fumbled with this post for a long time. Summarizing this year without saying things I haven't already (e.g., "my new job is not flexible like my old one, pays less, and my commute is two hours a day" and "I'm kinda over the running thing") is difficult, because I seem to have focused on those two things a lot on the blog. Off-line, I enjoyed a lot of good food, worked on not being such a bad in-law, left the country for the first time, read quite a few books, listened to a lot of music, and became more cynical and, most of all, a lot more anxious.  My clothes, makeup, and running spending also hit a five-year low. In the new year, I'm hoping for the strength to run Carlsbad Marathon and Big Sur without a feeling of torture or dread, knowing as I learned the other day that I can't even drag my body 20 miles like before.  After these races, I will be out of the marathon-ing game for a while, as I've grown tired of spending precious hours...

I've been on the down-trend for the past year. Long story short, running has become less and less fun for me, and time before more and more sparse. As I was ramping down (down, down) my weekly mileage, I started wondering what would happen.  Would I grow a "spare tire," struggle to pick up a 15-pounder, or huff and puff at the slightest jog? I find it laughable each time I'd visit the doctor, when the nurse would do a little intake interview, asking me about my fitness habits.  It used to be, "Oh, I work out 6-ish days per week, an hour at a time."  Then, it became, "About 5-6 days a week, 45 minutes to an hour."  Most recently, it was, "Five days a week, 40 minutes."  Luckily, the system still flagged me as "active," but in my eyes, I know better. Over the past few months, most mornings would involve a 3.7-ish mile jog, though some mornings I'd do a 30-40 (tops!) minute workout video instead.  Physique 57 , Xtend Ba...

Each year, the holiday season comes by more quickly.  Given our trip , a late Thanksgiving/start of shopping season, and the daily grind, I feel that it has truly snuck up on me this year.  I mean, I saw lots of Christmas decorations in Japan, but somehow, it's mid-December, and I'm still scrambling along. I had some dismal shopping failures recently that really made my anxiety spike.  The first was at a craft store; after circling the area multiple times and getting within scary proximity of other cars with incompetent drivers behind the wheel (even more than me, which is shocking), I decided to abandon my mission, wasting 30 minutes of time that is so precious these days.  The second happened after visiting my parents -- I decided to make a stop on the way home, but as I got there, I got a "the store is closing in 15 minutes" warning, lines jutting to the back of the store.  That was definitely not enough time for me, so I started putting everything down in ...

Since I returned from my 10-day (8-day without traveling) vacation, things have not been the same.  I haven't had a lot of time to process things, as I returned on a Sunday afternoon, returned to work Monday, blew through four holiday meals (without running at all), and am just coming up for air. Things haven't been the same, because going on vacation for that long had not yet happened in my adult life.  The longest I had been off of work is 5 days , and I took 6 off for this one.  Also, this was my first time outside of the country.  That alone is such an eye-opening thing to do, and I can't believe I've waited so long to do it.  My world used to be so small because I was extremely sheltered, but that has made me appreciate everything so much more. Anyway, I really miss Japan.  I know I only got a limited glance of the country, but already, I could see the stark differences between there and my home country, differences that make me long to be back th...