Confession (if you just want to see workouts, scroll down!):
Lately, my appetite has been out of control. I seemingly want junk food everyday. Not chips, per se, but things I normally don't care for too much due to being more snobby/picky about my food. This includes cheese and sweets. Although I've been trying to take walks during lunch (in addition to the workouts here) to offset some of this, I feel like I'm having one never-ending hormone spike, if you know what I mean.
Marathon training is only a little to blame. I only run 3 days a week now, so really, I don't think I should need to eat as much as I would on a 5-day schedule. I've been pretty good about sleeping enough most of the time, so I don't think it's that. I am hoping this is just a phase and that all will return to normal soon. I sometimes go through eating ups and downs and hope that this "down" will be over soon.
Partly to blame has been my social isolation. My work is not social at all (many work from home or offsite), so I have kind of been left hanging on my own, particularly at lunch time when I tend to be worst. I haven't been out with my friends for a while, partly because we are all busy and partly because I haven't wanted to face them knowing that I'm still "NOT done with school" and "NOT permanently employed." I know they are my friends and have seen me through a lot of my not-so-successful times...
As a final part of my isolation, I have been spending quite a bit less time with "The Ukrainian" lately. We live 30+ miles away, and given that I've tried to be at home more, I've been missing out on time with him. Ultimately, I think I don't have any issues eating properly when he's around, since he is like my second conscience when my first one shuts off.
And then there's school. As you can see, I have classes starting this week, and the thought of doing crud again is NUTS. Yes, it's only a handful of weekend seminars, but weekends are supposed to be MY time or dissertation time. I don't know how I was able to take Friday/Saturday/Sunday classes so often in the past while working. I know this is my last class (ever, I hope! -- except maybe certifications), but I have my dissertation chomping out any other free time I might have..... and then you throw in a CLASS?!
All in all, enough to make me unhappy and turn to junk for comfort. Fortunately, I am noticing early enough to deal with it and before the scale dies on me. And yes, early enough to even share publicly so that I am accountable for doing better in the future.
------
This Week's Workouts:
Saturday - did not do the 11-miler I had because I wanted to sleep in at least ONCE this week...
Sunday - volunteering at Surf City Marathon
Monday - 4 mi run (treadmill); 20 min strength/stretch
Tuesday - 5 mi
A barefoot runner unknowingly paced me through the second half. There was no way I was going to let him outrun me!
Wednesday - 40 min elliptical/stepper hybrid; 20 min strength
Tuesday night, developed an irritated throat. Thought all would be fine in the morning. Woke up feeling "sensitive" to everything that touched me. Still did this workout. Throat was burning at times even though I didn't feel like I was exerting TOO much. Went to work, started feeling worse (i.e., fever-y). Trying to keep on a normal eating schedule even though my appetite has definitely dimmed. Hope I get better before the weekend!
Thursday - 30 min bike; 10 min strength
Friday - rest
Weekly Mileage: 9
Lately, my appetite has been out of control. I seemingly want junk food everyday. Not chips, per se, but things I normally don't care for too much due to being more snobby/picky about my food. This includes cheese and sweets. Although I've been trying to take walks during lunch (in addition to the workouts here) to offset some of this, I feel like I'm having one never-ending hormone spike, if you know what I mean.
Marathon training is only a little to blame. I only run 3 days a week now, so really, I don't think I should need to eat as much as I would on a 5-day schedule. I've been pretty good about sleeping enough most of the time, so I don't think it's that. I am hoping this is just a phase and that all will return to normal soon. I sometimes go through eating ups and downs and hope that this "down" will be over soon.
Partly to blame has been my social isolation. My work is not social at all (many work from home or offsite), so I have kind of been left hanging on my own, particularly at lunch time when I tend to be worst. I haven't been out with my friends for a while, partly because we are all busy and partly because I haven't wanted to face them knowing that I'm still "NOT done with school" and "NOT permanently employed." I know they are my friends and have seen me through a lot of my not-so-successful times...
As a final part of my isolation, I have been spending quite a bit less time with "The Ukrainian" lately. We live 30+ miles away, and given that I've tried to be at home more, I've been missing out on time with him. Ultimately, I think I don't have any issues eating properly when he's around, since he is like my second conscience when my first one shuts off.
And then there's school. As you can see, I have classes starting this week, and the thought of doing crud again is NUTS. Yes, it's only a handful of weekend seminars, but weekends are supposed to be MY time or dissertation time. I don't know how I was able to take Friday/Saturday/Sunday classes so often in the past while working. I know this is my last class (ever, I hope! -- except maybe certifications), but I have my dissertation chomping out any other free time I might have..... and then you throw in a CLASS?!
All in all, enough to make me unhappy and turn to junk for comfort. Fortunately, I am noticing early enough to deal with it and before the scale dies on me. And yes, early enough to even share publicly so that I am accountable for doing better in the future.
------
This Week's Workouts:
Saturday - did not do the 11-miler I had because I wanted to sleep in at least ONCE this week...
Sunday - volunteering at Surf City Marathon
Monday - 4 mi run (treadmill); 20 min strength/stretch
Tuesday - 5 mi
A barefoot runner unknowingly paced me through the second half. There was no way I was going to let him outrun me!
Wednesday - 40 min elliptical/stepper hybrid; 20 min strength
Tuesday night, developed an irritated throat. Thought all would be fine in the morning. Woke up feeling "sensitive" to everything that touched me. Still did this workout. Throat was burning at times even though I didn't feel like I was exerting TOO much. Went to work, started feeling worse (i.e., fever-y). Trying to keep on a normal eating schedule even though my appetite has definitely dimmed. Hope I get better before the weekend!
Thursday - 30 min bike; 10 min strength
Friday - rest
Weekly Mileage: 9
I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling. I found the experience of graduate school, particularly the dissertation phase, pretty isolating in general. No matter how many 'coffee dates' I had with friends or evenings I spent with Brent, the process of dissertating was pretty lonely. I wish I had some good coping strategies to suggest, but I struggled through it, too. Here's hoping it passes quickly and 2011 takes you onto bigger and better things!
ReplyDeleteI go through these food phases too as you know. I don't think you need to worry about it though. You are experiencing a lot of stress. Plus brain power usage needs a lot of fuel. You exercise regularly so I don't think you need to be concern about snacking more than usual. Maybe you just need to expand your food repertoire. Perhaps you are missing out on some nutrient or your body is craving for something.
ReplyDeleteRemember, I was eating a lot of sugary stuff over the holidays and the only way I cleaned it out was to focus on not putting any of it in my mouth. I found some healthier sweet stuff to snack on while I weened myself off slowly. Maybe that doesn't work for everyone but mindless eating is just that, when you don't think about what you are putting in your mouth.
I really respect your honesty. It can be so tough when eating feels out of control. You are human, and we all go through these phases. Stress eating is so common, but I think you will get through it. Try not to be too hard on yourself, and just try to make better choices and recognize when you are stress eating. Easier said than done. Try surrounding yourself with more nutritious foods, and see if you stil crave "junk." When we are stressed, we need more nutrients, and this could be where the craving are coming from!
ReplyDeleteI really appreciate this post. Sometimes there are expectations of what a runner's life is supposed to look like, and when you fall short of that goal it is very disheartening. I go through food phases like that as well...and it sucks when all you want to eat is junk. It can take awhile to pull out of that too. Hang in there!!
ReplyDeleteI also understand about not being done with school. I have worked full time and gone to school part time, so while my friends are all done with undergrad and many with grad school, I am just now about to finish my bachelor's. I know that my friends aren't actually judging me, but I feel my own judgment of myself reflected in them (which I know isn't fair, but it is how I feel.)