If there is ever a time in my life when I finally get to sleep like a normal person, let me look back on this time and draw strength from it.
Must stop obsessing over numbers -- total hours slept, consecutive hours slept, number of wake-ups, days/months/year (and a half, counting pregnancy) without the eight-hour standard...
I'm pretty sure life is pretty sunny and bright when you're not in a constant mental fog, driving sleepy, recurring headache, and summer-like temperatures all day, every day.
So the next time I'm on Mile 22, or Mile 12.1 or when it's a little to warm for my liking to run, I must look back. There is worse.
I'd like to race again. I'd like to donate blood again. I'd like to not feel like I'm about to collapse by the time I get home from work everyday. While I'm at it, the great plight of being a working mom is that just when you need a break/vacation the most, you don't have the hours, since maternity leave pretty much eats it all. Add in being dumb and accepting a new job/starting over, and you've got an equation for a burnout like I've never experienced before. Working full-time while obtaining a Ph.D. does not even compare.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have 1,664 steps to climb today.
Must stop obsessing over numbers -- total hours slept, consecutive hours slept, number of wake-ups, days/months/year (and a half, counting pregnancy) without the eight-hour standard...
I'm pretty sure life is pretty sunny and bright when you're not in a constant mental fog, driving sleepy, recurring headache, and summer-like temperatures all day, every day.
So the next time I'm on Mile 22, or Mile 12.1 or when it's a little to warm for my liking to run, I must look back. There is worse.
I'd like to race again. I'd like to donate blood again. I'd like to not feel like I'm about to collapse by the time I get home from work everyday. While I'm at it, the great plight of being a working mom is that just when you need a break/vacation the most, you don't have the hours, since maternity leave pretty much eats it all. Add in being dumb and accepting a new job/starting over, and you've got an equation for a burnout like I've never experienced before. Working full-time while obtaining a Ph.D. does not even compare.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have 1,664 steps to climb today.
I have great respect for you as a working mom. I worked one week in my office a couple of weeks ago, it was madness trying to get there while being a mom, doing it all, and not sleeping. I was so stressed that it affected my body and my personality. No doubt it takes a strong person to persevere and baby Tuesday is so lucky you're his mom! Thank goodness he's so cute.
ReplyDeleteHugs. Hang in there. I hear you. I am also trying to raise a baby, pay for daycare, and grow my freelance writing business, which is currently in that awkward startup mode. I haven't slept more than 4 hours at a go for...hmm...too many months now. Babies - they're lucky they're so cute, or we'd all ask for our money back!
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