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End of the Year

I have fumbled with this post for a long time. Summarizing this year without saying things I haven't already (e.g., "my new job is not flexible like my old one, pays less, and my commute is two hours a day" and "I'm kinda over the running thing") is difficult, because I seem to have focused on those two things a lot on the blog.

Off-line, I enjoyed a lot of good food, worked on not being such a bad in-law, left the country for the first time, read quite a few books, listened to a lot of music, and became more cynical and, most of all, a lot more anxious.  My clothes, makeup, and running spending also hit a five-year low.

In the new year, I'm hoping for the strength to run Carlsbad Marathon and Big Sur without a feeling of torture or dread, knowing as I learned the other day that I can't even drag my body 20 miles like before.  After these races, I will be out of the marathon-ing game for a while, as I've grown tired of spending precious hours training and pushing my body to do something that it has told me many times that it can't handle too well. 

I hope to learn to relax more and finally be happy with the way I am, though not so complacent that I don't try anything new.  I plan on trying lots of new things, actually.  I'm hoping that overcoming my anxiety will help me be more of the person I know I can be.



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